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Your last paragraph ties together well. Keep up the amazing work. Your essay was such a pleasure to read. You had total control over your use of vocabulary, and everything tied in nicely.
I enjoyed your style because it flowed so well. I also found it interesting how you incorperated a quote into your thesis. I thought a few of the sentences were a bit structurally awkward. For example, you wrote "Throughout the short story Miss Brill shares no physical dialogue with any of the appearing characters despite the numerous people that walks past. A few small issues like that were the only thing that distracted me from your essay.
Your essay, which was written in a different point of view than I had used, really made me see how stream of consciousness really fit the story as a whole. Before it didn't make sense to me, but after reading this, I had more of an "ah ha! So, good job. I thought it was a lovely essay. Jenny, I thought you did a great job on this paper!
An Analysis of Katherine Mansfield's Short Story "Miss Brill" A Literary Analysis of Miss Brill by Katherine Mansfield. The Use of Third Person Singular Perspective Narration in Miss Brill, a Short Story by Katherine Mansfield. Thesis Statement: Miss Brill is a lonely woman that tries to live a more plentiful life by living under a routine, watching and listening to other.
Everything flowed so well, and the structure of the essay itself was very organized. I liked how you blended your quotations in as well.
I didn't feel a point where I was lost or felt as if I was trying to figure out your point. Also, the quotes you used really gave a lot of evidence to what you were trying to prove. The vocabulary you used really just added to it as well. Great diction. I agree with Kayla, some of it was a bit awkward. It didn't pull me away from the reading at all though.
It was just something that was a bit bothering but can easy be fixed. Also I noticed the paragraphs were a bit unbalanced. I noticed some of the paragraphs would have more detail and evidence than others. For example, the first body paragraph didn't really make me truely believe in what you were saying. I have a difficult time describing HOW authors accomplish things in their writing.
Your essay definately gave me a clearer picture on what I should be writing about in mine. Your essay was great! Awesome job! Hello Jenny lam! I want to congragulate you on your most obvious excellent essay--which you deserve the grade you received! I know, read me your essay on the phone the night before the essay was due and I told you I loved it. To start things off, I want to comment on your thesis statement in your introductory paragraph. Just by reading it, you provide me with the topic of your essay--therefore, I immediately know what you are going to write about.
That's a plus! I agree with your choice of point of view in which the author writes the story in--although I chose omniscient and nonparticipant.
I see where I went wrong because the stream of conciousness basically sums it all up. I also love your use of vocabulary I also like how you ended your second body paragraph with a quote I would've never been able to pull that off. Speaking of body paragraphs, they are very detailed and your use of textual evidence proves the points that you are trying to make and you nailed it, in my opinion. Also, I agree with Kayla when she says your essay flows nicely, fluidly. It's not chunky or stative. Minor little grammatical errors were the only problems that I noticed in your essay.
I don't think there really is a need to point it out, but here it is: ". She refuses to be defeated, and in her resistance she leads herself to self deception. I really can't think of anything to further improve your essay. Now I see why you used stream of conciousness point of view. As I mentioned before, I used two different point of views and now that I think of it, I realize that it would have made more sense to just use stream of conciousness.
Also, I see that I didn't really focus on how the author played out her purpose through the point of view, I focused more on what was being said. But, reading your essay helped me see the light. Thanks Jen! First let me say how much I love your writing style here, Jenny.
It is very well constructed and flows incredably. I had a hard time finding things to critique, but this is what I came up with: 1 There were a few errors here and there that were grammar related, but I didn't really noticed them, not until I was actually searching for something that was wrong. I just feel there were certain times where you could have used the text more, and convinced my better. All in all though, I say you did a good job, and fully seserved your 8.
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The feeling of self worthlessness after the denigrating comments by the young couple made her not to pick the cake from the bakers. Get an expert to write your essay! I got two As and a B with them without a single revision! Similarly, when Miss Brill places the fur back into the box it represents her realizing that the show in her head is over and she must come to terms with the truth of her surroundings. So Miss Brill has no role to play after all. In conclusion to this story, the Author Katherine Mansfield accomplishes the theme of loneliness, the scared thought many people have of rejection, and the conception of many people may have and can relate to.
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She identifies herself with the fur, by relating to it amiably. The fur resembles a fried bird and this goes along to emphasize the cadaverousness of the fur, which she treasures, and herself. She is lonely, but enthusiastic and passionate to find a community she can contribute to. Fur is a symbol of a mirror.